I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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