I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
