i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
