So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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