WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
