i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
