i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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