Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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