A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
