I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize