i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
