You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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