I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
