My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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