tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
