just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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