You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
