nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
His nipple licking is glorious
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