i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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