Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
