What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
