Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Your dad touched me again.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
