ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
