trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Randomize
