Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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