I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think people are normalizing furries
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
