Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
