I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
