so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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