She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
