We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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