She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
