I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
