im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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