I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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