it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
