I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
