Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Never underestimate the power of titties
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
