Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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