ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
