I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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