Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
His nipple licking is glorious
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