Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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