evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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