I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
