tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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