Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Damn victory sex feels great
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