is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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