No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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