the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize