i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
