Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
