I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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