yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
