id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
