I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
