It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Let's get the cat blown out
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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