I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
