He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize