I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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