playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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