We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
